Personality Guide Based On Drinks

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Oct 112011
 

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based ON what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The result:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky
taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. If she’s interested, she’ll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually she
has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk … and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required — everyone KNOWS what happens here.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum —-

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He’s hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn’t give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He’s gay.

Chopsticks to Help You Smile

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Oct 022011
 

They train to smile with chopsticks wedged between their teeth and books balanced on their heads. They must be nearly as tall as the Miss China beauty contestants and produce smiles outlasting any beauty contest: 4 hours and 48 minutes aboard the new train from China’s capital to coast.

The 313 attendants on the 1,318-km Beijing-Shanghai bullet train launched last week have earned the online nickname ‘high-speed sisters’ for their charm offensive. The glimpses of smile training sessions reported in the media served to divert some of the public attention away from the high ticket prices and corruption and safety scandals in China’s railroad expansion.

The pretty army carries forward the Chinese economy’s official obsession with hostesses between 19-22 years who can smile showing only six to eight front teeth. They are now an anticipated fixture in every national project starting from the Beijing Olympics to the Harmony trains launched ahead of the 90th anniversary of the Communist Party.

“Crew members must be female, younger than 28 years, be of fair complexion and have a shapely figure that conforms to selection standards,” according to the China Daily. “The crew must be able to converse in English and know all about the train. They must weigh less than 60 kg and be 165-170 cm tall.”

Read more…

Joke Of The Day

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Sep 292011
 

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, “Ooh dad, there’s one.”

“No,” said the father. “There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait.”

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, “Hey dad, he’s plenty big enough.”

“No,” the father said. “We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait.”

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.

The son said, “Now there’s nothing wrong with that one dad. Let’s eat her.”

“No,” said the father. “We’ll not eat her either.”

“Why not?” asked the son.

“Because, we’re going to take her back alive and eat your mother.”