 |
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!” |
|
A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbor knocking on his door one Friday evening.
“I’m feeling so lonely that I can’t stand it.” she said. “I want to go out, get drunk & want to enjoy my life. Are you free tonight?” “Yes!” he replied enthusiastically. “Wonderful.” she said. “Would you watch my kids? |
|
A man received the following text from his neighbour:
I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, more than you. I’m not getting it at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again. Bob, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn auto correct. I meant “wifi”, not “wife”. |