Joke Of The Day: Female Hormones In Beer

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Mar 262017
 
Joke Of The Day: Female Hormones In Beer Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

It was then observed that 100 % of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

 

 

 

Ladies vs. Real Women

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Mar 062017
 

Ladies vs. Real WomenLadies – If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix-me-up.”

Real Women – If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes.”

Ladies – Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women – Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Ladies – Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women – Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Ladies – To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women – Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Ladies – When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

Real Women – Go to the bakery – they’ll even decorate it for you.

Ladies – Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women – Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don’t do it.

Ladies – If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women – Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

And finally the most important tip!…..

Ladies – Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women – Leftover wine??