Q: How do you starve a Democrat?
A: Hide their welfare check under their work boots, or shoes!
Tag: Welfare
Joke Of The Day
This morning I went to sign my Dog up for welfare. At first the lady said, “Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare”. So I explained to her that my Dog is a mix in color, unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English and has no frigging clue who his Daddy is. He expects me to feed him, provide him with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because he is a dog.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My Dog gets his first cheque Friday.
Welfare Applications
For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?
Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?
I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.
Please find for if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can’t do anything until he knows.
I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.
My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven’t had any relief since.
Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?
I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.
I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things don’t improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
Ice Cream & The Election
Excellent analogy! From a teacher in the Nashville area.
Who worries about “the cow” when it is all about the “Ice Cream?
The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.
We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote. To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members.
We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have.
We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections.
Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots
\of parental support. I had never seen Olivia’s mother.
The day arrived when they were to make their speeches Jamie went first.
He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Everyone applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium. Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down.
The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.” She surely could say more. She did not have to.
A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure.
Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it? She didn’t know.
The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten.
Olivia won by a landslide.
Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and fifty-two percent of the people reacted like nine year olds. They want ice cream.
The other forty-eight percent of us know we’re going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.
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