Tag: Wal-Mart

Jokes

A New Wine From Walmart

New Wine From Walmart

Some Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item: Walmart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. Thought you would like to be first in line to buy some!

“While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: “The right name is important.”

So, here we go–the top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

12. Chateau Traileur Parc

11. White Trashfindel

10. Big Red Gulp

9. Grape Expectations

8. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”

7. NASCARbernet

6. Chef Boyardeaux

5. Peanut Noir

4. Chateau des Moines

3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!

2. World Championship Riesling

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with white meat (possum) and red meat (squirrel).
 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The New Greeter

Rubber Chicken A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?” The first man replied, “A thought. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.”

“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And, now you sir?” he asked the second man.

“Hmm, let me see, a blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.”

“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.” He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

“Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall, there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.”

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said. Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is Diarrhea.”

“What!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

“Oh sure,” said Bubba. “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I had already crapped my pants.”

Bubba is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

 

 

 

Information

The WAVE Concept Truck

The WAVE Concept Truck

The WAVE Concept Truck

Wal-Mart unveiled a new concept truck. The WAVE, which stands for Wal-Mart Advanced Vehicle Experience, is made entirely from one-piece 53-foot carbon fibre panels. The cab sits over the engine allowing the driver to sit in the middle—the key to its pointed aerodynamic design.

Liberals will no doubt be confused as how to react to this!


Introducing the WAVE concept truck

The Wal-Mart Advanced Vehicle Experience, or WAVE, concept truck is the latest in our fleet efficiency program. The one-of-a-kind prototype offers a whole package of firsts. The tractor has very advanced aerodynamics and is powered by a prototype advanced turbine-powered, range-extending series hybrid powertrain. The trailer is made almost exclusively with carbon fiber, saving around 4,000 pounds which can then be used to carry more freight.

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Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The Cat’s Tail

Rubber Chicken A husband is out mowing the lawn. Unexpectedly, a cat runs in front of the mower. He manages to miss hitting the cat directly, but cuts off the cat’s tail.

He picks up the cat and the tail and yells to his wife for help.

When she arrives, the panicked husband says “Look what’s happened, what should we do?”

We wife replies, “Take him to Wal-Mart!”

The husband replies, “Wal-Mart?, Why Wal-Mart?”

The wife says: They are the Nation’s largest Re-tailer!

 

 

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