Tag: The U.S. Postal Service

Amusing

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world’s largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth’s population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy..

This should be read and understood by all Americans, Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To the President and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,

It is now official you are ALL corrupt morons:

A. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.

B. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.

C. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.

D. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to “the poor” and they only want more.

E. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.

F. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.

G. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every “government service” you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM???
 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”

He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”

“Ok; have you ever been in the military service?”

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for one tour.”

The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment..” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”

The guy says, “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.”

The interviewer grimaces and then says, “Okay. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day.”

The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don’t you want me here until 10:00 am?”

“This is a government job”, the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.

Amusing

The Ronald Reagan Stamp Unveiling

On Monday, December 13, 2010, the United States Postal Service honored President Ronald Reagan with a Centennial Postage Stamp. At this event, the artwork for the stamp was be unveiled. James C. Miller, III, a member of the USPS Board of Governors, spoke at this event on behalf of the Postal Service. As the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, Governor Miller was a member of the President’s cabinet and a member of the National Security Council from 1985-1988. Before that he served as Chairman of the U.S. Federal Trade Commission from 1981-1985.

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Bob goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”

He replies, “Yes – coffee.”

“Have you ever been in the military service?

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for two years.”

The interviewer says,”That will give you 5 extra points towards employment.”
Then he asks,”Are you disabled in any way?”

Bob says,”Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles.”

The interviewer grimaces and then says, “O.K. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. To 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow from 10:00 AM every day.”

Bob is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why do you want me to start here from10:00 A.M.?”

“This is a government job,” the interviewer says, “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point you coming in for that.”

Amusing

USPS Sends Your Package 5,586 Miles To Travel 120

“This explains why the US Postal Service is running a $7 billion deficit this year”. Doesn’t this make you feel better that the government will also be in charge of your health care?

Jonathan is trying to figure out why the box of records he sent from Bell to Bakersfield, CA somehow took a 5,000 mile detour across the country and back first.
His tracking receipt shows the package leaving Bell, CA, then showing up on the east coast in Capitol Heights, MD, then heading down for some barbecue in Greensboro, NC, then moseying back to where it began before finally taking the 2-hour trip down the road to Bakersfield.

When he called USPS to ask them why the package was sent 3,000 miles away, the rep said, “I cannot speculate on that.” Her supervisor told Jonathan the same thing. Jonathan wonders if he will also get the same reaction when he contacts Stephen M. Kearney, Senior Vice President, USPS Customer Relations.

Perhaps this, “explains why the US Postal Service is running a $7 billion deficit this year,” speculated Jonathan to Consumerist.

Source…

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