Tag: The Pope

Jokes Political

Donald Trump And Pope Francis

Donald Trump And Pope Francis

President Trump invited Pope Francis for lunch on his mega yacht, the Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the Pontiff’s hat off, right into the water.

It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place.

The crew and the secret service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying “Never mind, boys, I’ll get it.”

The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed into the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.

The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope’s entourage were speechless.

No one knew what to say, not even the Pope. But that afternoon, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN, The New York Times and The Washington Post all reported:

“TRUMP CAN’T SWIM!”

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Give Us This Day

Rubber Chicken During a Papal audience, a businessman approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from “give us this day our daily bread” to “give us this day our daily chicken” and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.

The Pope shook his head and said no to the offer.

Two weeks later the businessman approached the Pope again, this time with a 50 million dollar offer.

Again the Pope declined.

A month later the man offers 100 million, and this time the Pope accepts.

At a meeting of the Cardinals, the Pope announces his decision.

“I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account.”

 

 

Jokes Political

Joke Of The Day: 3 Parachutes

Rubber Chicken Barack Hussein Obama, Hilary Clinton, the Pope and a boy scout are on a plane.

The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes.

The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people and the strongest military in the world.” The others agree and the president grabs a bag and jumps out.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said “I am the future first female President of the United States, and I am the smartest woman in the world. I will be everything Obama was not and in that manner set a new path for all women in this world. I demand that I take one of the parachutes.” The boy scout hands her a bag and she jumps out.

The third passenger, the Pope, says to the fourth passenger, a 10-year old boy scout “I am old and frail and I don’t have many years left, so as a Christian gesture and good deed, I will sacrifice my life and let you take the last parachute.”

The boy scout said “It’s okay!”

“No, my dear boy. I must insist. I made my peace with God many, many years ago,” explains the Pope. “Dying will be like going home for me.”

“No, really it’s okay,” says the boy.

“My son, how can you be so fearless in the face of death? You are but a young boy,” asks the Pope.

The boy scout holds up two bags. “There’s two parachutes left. I gave that annoying bitch my backpack.”

 

 

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