An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”
The four open the door and look out below.
The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
A Texas health care worker who cared for Thomas Eric Duncan has tested positive for Ebola. The worker from the Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital reported a low-grade fever on Friday night and was isolated and referred for testing.
Don’t be surprised if Obama orders Ebola cases in Africa be moved to the US. After all… that was his logic for handling Gitmo prisoners.
A health care worker at a Dallas hospital tested positive for Ebola in a preliminary test, the Texas Department of State Health Services said in a statement early Sunday.
The health care worker at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital, who was not identified in the statement, provided care for Thomas Eric Duncan, the first Ebola patient in the United States, who died last week.
The worker reported a “low grade fever” Friday night and was isolated and referred for testing. The preliminary result was received late Saturday.
“We knew a second case could be a reality, and we’ve been preparing for this possibility,” Dr. David Lakey, commissioner of the Texas Department of State Health Services, said in the statement. “We are broadening our team in Dallas and working with extreme diligence to prevent further spread.”
Health officials have interviewed the patient and are identifying any contacts or potential exposures.
Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital has come under scruntiny for its handling of Duncan, who first showed up at the hospital’s emergency room late on the evening of Sept. 25, complaining of a fever and severe pain. Although documents show that a nurse recorded early in Duncan’s first hospital visit that he recently came to the U.S. from Africa and his temperature reached 103 degrees, he was prescribed antibiotics and told to take Tylenol, then returned to the apartment where he was staying with a Dallas woman and three other people.
The Associated Press reported that Duncan’s temperature reading was flagged with an exclamation point in the hospital’s record-keeping system.
In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher’s stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: “Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen.” (This means: “Glad to meet you! Don’t drink the water. The cows have shit in it.”)
The man shouted back: “I’m from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan. I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.”
A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had on the biggest boots she’d ever seen! The woman asked the cowboy, “Is it true what they say about men with big feet?”
The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is, little lady! Why don’t ya come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you?”
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, “Well, thankee, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.”
The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
Texas Rancher Finds Urdu-to-English Dictionary Near The Border
They’re here!
Texas rancher Mike Vickers found an Urdu-to-English dictionary on his property near the Mexican border. Urdu is the official language of Pakistan, and is spoken by Muslims in India and parts of Afghanistan.
Texas rancher Mike Vickers found an Urdu-to-English dictionary under the cattle fencing on his 1,000-acre ranch north of the U.S.-Mexico border. (Photo courtesy of Chris Burgard)
Here is a thought that should make Liberal heads explode and fascinate conspiracy theorists. What if Barack Hussein Obama created this crisis so that he could build an army and disperse it all over the Untied States. Some of the kids in the picture below don’t look all that harmless. If fact, some look like they know how to handle an AK-47.
I’m Just Sayin’
(Photo: Courtesy of Rep. Henry Cuellar)
While local ranchers have to contend with torn-up fences, broken water lines, contaminated wells and robbery on a daily basis from illegal immigrants streaming through, a Texas Border Patrol agent told TheBlaze there is “no doubt” that among the hordes of Central Americans are also crossers from Pakistan and Afghanistan, raising significant national security concerns.
“We have limited resources,” said the agent, who was not authorized to speak publicly. “It’s frustrating for all of us and there’s no doubt that we have OTMs [Other Than Mexicans] coming from Pakistan, Afghanistan, Somalia and other parts of the world that we are very concerned with — these guys won’t be turning themselves into Border Patrol like the family units or children. I expect we’ll see more the OTMs of special interest this year and next, now that they know they can get in easier and they won’t be turned back home.”
Urdu, the national language of Pakistan, is also spoken in parts of Afghanistan and India. People coming from these parts of the world are considered persons of special interest because of their potential connections to extremist groups in those regions, the agent said.
“We’ve found Korans, prayer rugs and many other unusual items at the border that certainly raise concern,” the agent said.
