Tag: Texas
10-Year Old Texas Girl Kills 13-Foot Alligator
10-year old Ella Hawk killed a 13-foot 800-pound gator with one shot above the eyes during a trip on the Guadalupe River near Victoria, Texas.
https://youtu.be/w3OgOZE3uYc
A 10-year-old Texas girl now has some major bragging rights. The hunter bagged an 800-pound alligator near Victoria, Texas. And her weapon? A crossbow!
Ella Hawk says she wasn’t even nervous because she has been hunting for several years.
The Victoria Advocate stated the 13-foot gator is ranked number one in the Trophy Game Records of the World database.
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Joke Of The Day: Texas Compassion
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A very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge outside San Antonio one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, “Please don’t jump! Think of your dear mother and father!”
“Mom and Dad are both dead,” he said sadly, then turned back toward his doom. “I’m going to jump!” “Wait!” she said. “Think of your wife and children!” “My wife left me,” he replied, “and I don’t have any kids.” “Well, then,” she said, grasping at straws, “think of the Alamo!” He replied, “What’s the Alamo?” “Well bless your heart,” she said. “Just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee!” |
Texas Terms
COMPUTER TERMS – TEXAS TRANSLATION:
LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin’ the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin’ home in the winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain’t in the winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it’s cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it’s black fly season
BYTE: What them dang flies do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: What’s in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That’s hippie talk fer the mouse hole
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Northerner talk fer “c’mon in, y’all”
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can’t ‘member what ya paid fer the rifle
Texas Redheaded Centipede
If you hate creepy, crawly things, Texas has just the centipede for you.
The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department posted a photo on Facebook on Friday showing a particularly striking specimen of the Texas redheaded centipede, proving that everything is indeed bigger in Texas.
The centipede, featuring a long black body, yellow legs and a red head and antennas, took a ride on a broom in Garner State Park, located west of San Antonio in the state’s Hill Country.
The centipede, whose Latin name is Scolopendra heros, can be found from Mexico up into the south-central and southwestern United States. They usually have between 21 and 23 pairs of legs and typically measure between 6 and 8 inches long.
Even though it may look frightening, Texas wildlife department officials said the centipede doesn’t pose much of a threat to humans. Bites can be painful, but usually subside after a few hours of swelling and stinging.
However, the redheaded centipede is a much bigger danger to its fellow animals. It often feeds on lizards and toads and has been known to also attack rodents and snakes.
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