Tag: Texas

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas ..

Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a Fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station…

The conversation went like this:

”Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

”And the best of the day to yerself.. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead on me front lawn ”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ”Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a moment…

Then Father O’Malley replied: “Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.”

Amusing

California vs. Texas

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog, then bites the Governor.

California:
1. The Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 upon relocating it.
3. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting bite wound bandaged.
5. The Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a “coyote awareness” program for residents of the area.
7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease.
8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for letting the Governor intervene.
9. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent.
10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the state.

Texas:
1. The Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. Buzzards eat dead coyote.

Amusing

‘Don’t Tread on Me’ License Plates Approved in Texas

Fans of the Gadsden Flag may soon be able to display its familiar rattlesnake and “Don’t Tread on Me” message every time they pull out of the driveway.

At least three states — Virginia, Nevada and Texas — are weighing or have already approved proposals to add “Don’t Tread on Me” specialty license plates to their state rosters.

The Gadsden Flag, originally used by the U.S. Marine Corps during the American Revolution, was meant to represent the 13 original colonies and their battle for independence from the British monarchy. It has recently been adopted by some Tea Party groups as a message against big government.

Several supporters of the symbol say they will seek to have Gadsden plates available in other states throughout the country.

But critics say the flag’s “Don’t Tread on Me” message is political in nature, and has no place on any government-issued license plate.

Read more…

Amusing

Mexican Drug Cartel Seizes 2 U.S. Ranches in Texas

I’m not sure if this story is true. I think it may be a military or local law enforcement training exercise.

If it is true… God help Los Zetas! Don’t mess with Texas!

In what could be deemed an act of war against the sovereign borders of the United States, Mexican drug cartels have seized control of at least two American ranches inside the U.S. territory near Laredo, Texas.

Two sources inside the Laredo Police Department confirmed the incident is unfolding and they would continue to coordinate with U.S. Border Patrol today. “We consider this an act of war,” said one police officer on the ground near the scene. There is a news blackout of this incident at this time and the sources inside Laredo PD spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Word broke late last night that Laredo police have requested help from the federal government regarding the incursion by the Los Zetas. It appears that the ranch owners have escaped without incident but their ranches remain in the hands of the blood thirsty cartels.

Laredo Border Patrol is conducting aerial surveillance over the ranches to determine the best way to regain control of the U.S. ranches, according to the Laredo Police department.

The approximate location of the U.S. ranches are10 miles northwest of I-35 off Mines Road and Minerales Annex Road. Just off 1472 (Mines road) near Santa Isabel Creek north of the city of Laredo, Texas.

The Los Zetas drug cartel is an offshoot of the elite Mexican military trained in special ops. The mercenary organization is said to include members of corrupt Mexican Federales, politicians as well as drug traffickers. The group was once part of the Gulf cartel, but has since splintered and now directly competes with the Gulf cartel for premium drug smuggling routes in the Texas region.

The new leader of Los Zetas is Heriberto “El Lazca” Lazcano and is considered the most violent paramilitary group in Mexico by the DEA.

Recently the drug organization has kidnapped tourists, infiltrated local municipalities and continues to smuggle narcotics into a very hungry U.S. market.

The violence south of the border continues to spin out of control and has left Nuevo Laredo, Mexico on virtual lockdown with businesses refusing to open the doors. Last week a particularly violent attack by the Los Zetas included the use of grenades and resulted in a dozen deaths and 21 injuries.

The hostile takeover of the ranches has met with silence with local and national media; however sources say they could be waiting to report the stories once the ranches are back in U.S. control. This journalist questions if this was a Middle Eastern terrorist attack if the media would sit on their hands.

Source…

Update:

The story may have something to do with this.

Load More