Tag: Texans
Joke Of The Day: Lighten The Load
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An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane. |
Joke Of The Day: The Tight Skirt
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In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn’t! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him “How dare you touch my body!! I don’t even know who you are!” At this the Texan drawled “Well ma’am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends.” |
Joke Of The Day
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. “Let’s set some parameters,” the professor said. “What’s the opposite of joy?” he asked one student.
“Sadness,” he replied.
“The opposite of depression?” he asked another student.
“Elation,” he replied.
“The opposite of woe?” the prof asked a young woman from Texas.
The Texan replied, “Sir, I believe that would be giddyup.”
The ‘Piggy Bank’ Brothers
Conner Alexander’s piggy bank bounty was a bust from the beginning.
The 7-year-old Texas Rangers fan posted the now-famous offer on a homemade sign from his seat in right field during Monday’s game against the Detroit Tigers.
“Hey Rangers!” it read. “Hit my brother. Win my piggy bank.”
But the offer, of course, wasn’t as lucrative as it sounds.
“He has a piggy bank, but there’s not a whole lot in it,” says Ashlee Alexander, Conner’s mom, from the family’s home in Carthage, Texas.
“Un-uh,” Conner admits when asked if he would have parted with his pennies.
Still, the sign was seen by millions on Yahoo and caused a ruckus among some readers. But all you backseat psychologists can breathe easier. Conner says he never really meant any harm for 10-year-old Hunter.
Instead, the boys hoped their ruse would get them on the ballpark’s video board and catch the eye of their favorite players, Josh Hamilton(notes) and Nelson Cruz(notes).
“We were going to put a target on my brother, but we didn’t have tape to do it,” Conner says.
Their popularity on Big League Stew and Yahoo! has prompted over 24,000 Facebook shares and dozens of calls from friends in their small town located about two hours east of Dallas. Morning television programs have also called seeking interviews.
“I guess overwhelmed would be the best way to describe it,” says their father, Billy Alexander. “It was just clean, innocent fun. They did what they set out to do, but they just got on [an even bigger] JumboTron.”
Billy, a retired firefighter who now runs his own business, and Ashlee, a special education teacher, say their boys are the best of friends. Billy balks at anyone who saw the playful prank as poor parenting.
“They just need to come to Texas and have some fun,” he says.
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