Tag: Ted Kennedy
Good Riddance Ted Kennedy
Ed Anger’s classic eulogy of Ted Kennedy.
Ditto Ed Anger… ditto!
I’m happier than a Labrador Retriever at a wading pool!
After all these years, Ted Kennedy is finally dead! Yahoo!! It took him long enough – even in a nation full of gun-toting crazies, nobody thought Ted mattered enough to shoot.
What a shame, because before he finally died, Ted Kennedy managed to screw up everything he touched. It was bad enough he only got into Harvard because his smarter brothers went there, and their bootlegger father was rich. And everybody knows Ted Kennedy let a young lady die after he crashed a car off a bridge and left her to drown.
He also stuck up for the Commies and smeared guys who were a hundred times smarter and better than him, like that Bork and Clarence Thomas.
Imagine a guy who had to cheat his way through law school getting to decide who sits on the Supreme Court, and even calling one of them a pervert and another one a racist!?
But that’s not the worst of it. Nope, it is all the idiots who kept electing Ted Kennedy time and time again.
I love America, but it’s Americans I can’t stand. And that’s one reason why. How stupid do you have to be to keep voting for this fat, drunk, overrated commie blowhard just because of his famous last name?
I hear though that the news ratings are in the tank with all this Kennedy news, and the only person whose show is getting more watchers is… Glenn Beck! Ha Ha!
It’s enough to make me wish a bunch of stupid hippies would boycott ME!!
Ted Kennedy Jokes
1. This just in from Akron……..Ted Kennedy has been sober for 12 hours. More to follow.
2. How did people find out Ted was dead? He didn’t show up to the bar this morning!!
3. Ted Kennedy is a shovel ready project.
4. Saint Peter: “I don’t care how drunk you were, Ted, it’s still murder!”
5. Ted Kennedy died and it’s George Bush’s fault. Obama will address that in his next speech.
6. Thank goodness Kennedy died so we can focus on something other than Obama’s performance. If we are lucky we can focus on Pelosi, Feinstein, and Schumer too.
7. Is this God’s way of taking away the democrats filibuster proof Senate?
8. What’s black, white and hungry? Ted Kennedy’s cat.
9. Kennedy was so full of himself he floated. So full of #### he’s dead
10. Is there life after death? Don’t ask Ted Kennedy, because he has been responsible for three.
11. If Ted Kennedy is to be buried in Martha’s Vineyard, the island will sink below sea level.
12. They have named a drink after Ted Kennedy. It’s called the Chappaquiddick. It’s made by mixing Gin and murky water.
13. Much like his brother, Ted Kennedy will also have an eternal flame in Arlington Cemetery, but for his they are just going to strike a match to his liver.
14. ok, Ted is dead, its all just water under the bridge now.
15. Ted also had a plan to stimulate the Auto industry but his was called cash for kerplunkers.
16. Ted Kennedy never became president because unlike George Washington, he couldn’t cross a river.
17. Teds’ friends say he wasn’t much of a golfer because he always ended up in the water hazard.
18. During the battle in Nasaria, the Marines called up Kennedy because he had experience with crossing a bridge while being bombed.
19. With news of Ted’s death, the Massachusetts liquor industry is now going to need a bailout.
20. For the funeral apparently the Dead Kennedys will be performing.
21. Ted Kennedy is now eligible to vote in Chicago.
Ted Kennedy Sings For Osama … oops … Obama
If you needed evidence that Ted Kennedy has a problem with alcohol, here is your proof.
I would go hunting with Cheney before I would go riding with Teddy.
“This week, footage surfaced of Senator Ted Kennedy singing in Spanish to a Latino group. There was an awkward moment when someone in the crowd pointed at Kennedy’s head and said: “Look! The piñata is singing!” ….Conan O’Brien
Once again, Ted Kennedy belted out the 1940s hit “Ay Jalisco No Te Rajes” (Don’t Give Up On Me) during a campaign stop in Laredo. Back in June, audio of Kennedy singing the same song on a popular LA morning radio show became an Internet sensation.
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