Tag: St. Peter

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates… As he enters, he asks St. Peter, ‘I have a question that’s haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?’

St. Peter said, ‘That’s a question only God can answer.’

So the zebra went off in search of God.

When he found Him, the zebra asked, ‘God, please – I must know Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?’

God simply replied ‘You are what you are.’

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, ‘Well, did God straighten out your query for you?’

The zebra looked puzzled.. ‘No sir, God simply said ‘You are what you are.”

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, ‘Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes..’

The zebra asked St. Peter, ‘How do you know that for certain?’

‘Because,’ said St Peter, ‘If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, ‘You is what you is..’

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Obama dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.

He is very excited; all his life he’s had a secret wish & longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack meets a man with a beard. ‘Are you Mohammed?’ he asks.

‘No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.’ Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, ‘Are you Mohammed?’

‘No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.’

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder; yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.

Full of hope, he asks again, ‘Are you Mohammed?’

‘No, I am Jesus… You will find Mohammed higher up.’

Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man! Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.

Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question: ‘Are you Mohammed?’ he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.

‘No, my son…. I am Almighty God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee..?’

‘Yes! Please, my Lord,’ Obama exclaims.

God looks behind him, claps his hands and yells out: ‘Hey Mohammed– two coffees!’

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, “I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven.” St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, “I worked in an operating room. It`s a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard.” St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, “I was a case manager for an HMO.”

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse`s file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, “Congratulations! You`ve been admitted to heaven … for five days!”

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