Human Resources And The 7 Dwarfs

Human Resources And The 7 Dwarfs
In every Human Resources report, there is a reason for termination. There are so many possibilities, that we have narrowed the list down to the 7 dwarfs.

Here they are:

Happy: Had trouble putting nose to the grindstone. Too much time spent telling jokes at the water cooler.

Doc: Left to pursue further schooling, in particular, Ph.D. work.

Sleepy: Chronically late for work. Caused many project delays.

Grumpy: Poor attitude toward work. Not a team player. Trouble with early mornings.

Dopey: Made several critical errors at work costing the company money, e.g., misappropriated company funds.

Sneezy: Recurrent, chronic illness has made it difficult for the employee to complete work in a timely fashion.

Bashful: Lack of initiative. Not willing to make cold calls. Too often let workplace disagreements simmer.

OTHERS

Jealous Queen: Heavy involvement in the occult not congruent with organizational policies.

Snow White: Misconduct, e.g., kissing strange men while under some kind of trance.

Huntsman: Couldn’t stand to be cooped up in the office all day. Pursuing work with the National Forest Service.

 

Movie Quotes Everyone Gets Wrong

These are the movie quotes everyone gets wrong

 
You might be surprised by how many popular movie quotes you’re remembering just a bit wrong.

‘The Wizard of Oz’ 
Though most people say ‘Looks like we’re not in Kansas anymore,’ or ‘Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,’ those quotes aren’t quite right. Dorothy actually says ‘Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.’

‘The Silence of the Lambs’
If you’ve always thought Hannibal Lecter greets Clarice by saying ‘Hello, Clarice,’ we’ve got news for you. It’s actually ‘Good evening, Clarice.’ How polite!

‘Field of Dreams’
That whispering voice? It’s not quietly murmuring ‘If you build it, they will come.’ The correct quote is ‘If you build it, he will come.’

‘Wall Street’
Though Gordon Gekko definitely thinks greed is good, his quote is actually ‘Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.’

‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’
The Queen says ‘Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?’ Most people think it’s ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall’ … and most people are incorrect.

‘The Empire Strikes Back’
This might blow your mind, but when Vader reveals his true identity to Luke, he does not say ‘Luke, I am your father.’ He actually says ‘No, I am your father.’

How many of these quotes have you been saying wrong? Don’t worry, we won’t judge.

 

Joke Of The Day: The Contests

Rubber ChickenPinocchio, Snow White, and Superman, were out for a stroll in town one day. As they walked, they come across a sign:”Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world .”

“I am entering!” said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her,”Well, how’d ya do?” ” First Place !” said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: “Contest for the strongest man in the world .” “I’m entering,” says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him,”How did you make out?” ” First Place ,” answers Superman. “Did you have any doubt?”

They continue walking when they see a sign: “Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?” Pinocchio enters. After half an hour he returns,with tears in his eyes.

“What happened?” they asked.

“Who the hell is Obama?” asks Pinocchio.

 

 

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