Three Navy Ships Put it in Perspective

Seeing her next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective… ENORMOUS!

Shoulder to shoulder, the deck measures 4.5 acres, with displacement of about 100,000 tons with full complement. Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling…

The USS Ronald Reagan is expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years, and carries over 80 combat aircraft. The bridge towers 20 stories above the waterline, and at 1092 feet long, the hull is nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall.

Driven by four 21-ft. bronze propellers each 21 feet across and weighing 66,200 pounds, the USS Ronald Reagan is home to cca 6,000 sailors. It carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days between port calls, with 18,150 meals served daily.

Four onboard distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes…

USS Bill Clinton:

The USS William Jefferson Clinton is show here sailing out of its home port of Vancouver , BC.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts’ and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

This one is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which -although they cannot be launched on the 100 ft deck- form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board. This crew -much like those aboard the USS Jimmy Carter- receive weeks of special training in how to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States… at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may have found America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

When conflict cannot be avoided, the USS Bill Clinton has orders to promptly seek refuge in Canada.

USS Barack Obama:

The USS Barack Hussein Obama is a secure development program, and at this point details are vague.

But no worries… he has a plan.

Source…

Joke Of The Day

The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a “little” stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain entry in the ship’s log: “The first mate was drunk today.”

“Captain please don’t let that stay in the log”, the mate said. “This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself.”

“Is it true?” asked the captain, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, its true” the mate said.

“Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That’s the rule. If its true it goes into the log, end of discussion,” said the captain sternly.

Weeks later, it was the first mate’s turn to make the log entries. The first mare wrote: “The ship seems in good shape. The captain was sober today.”

Joke Of The Day: Change Your Course

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal:
“Change your course ten degrees east.”

The light signals back: “Change yours, ten degrees west.”

Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!”

“I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”

Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”

There’s one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”

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