Joke Of The Day

A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.

“Monday’s the best night, when my husband goes out to darts,” she said.

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn’t have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn’t believe her, so she said: “Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I’ll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.”

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked:

“Do you shave?”

“No,” replied the girl. “I’ve just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?”

“Oh, yes,” said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department…..very generously indeed.

The girl finished her bath and went to bed.

Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, “Did you see it?”

“Yes,” he said, “but why the hell did you have to show her yours.”

“Why ever are you worried about that?” she said. “You’ve seen it often enough before.”

“I know,” he said, “but the darts team hadn’t!”

Joke Of The Day

3 dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all of them with very big smiles on their faces.

The coroner calls the police to tell them what happened.

“The first body: A Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hench the enormous smile, Inspector.” says the coroner.

“The second body, Scotsman, 25, won thousands on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third person?”

“Ah” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one.

Billy Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30 struck by lightening.”

“Why is he smiling then?” asks the Inspector.

“He thought he was having his picture taken.”

Joke Of The Day

A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the North Woods of Canada, both liked to hunt. They were hunting for deer when all of a sudden a moose popped up in front of them. It was so unexpected, neither of them had a chance to fire.

The Scotsman was shaken. “Hoot mon, wit in blazes was that?!”

“That was a moose,” the Canadian replied.

“What are ye saying, lad? A moose? Good Lord, I’d hate to see yer rats!”

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