Tag: Religion

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Walking On Water

Rubber Chicken A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore.The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after he was finished.

A little later, the priest had to make the trip also. He got out of the boat, walked across the water, visited the bathroom and in the same manner, came back to the boat.

Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. He got out of the boat and immediately sank.

The pastor looked at the priest and said, “Do you think we ought to tell him where the rocks are?”

 

 

Information

The Robertsons

The Robertsons

The Robertsons- Duck Dynasty

This is an amazing production from I am Second. If you have a good monitor, watch it in High Definition in full screen mode.

From The Right Scoop:

I just spent the last 30 minutes watching this and I must say it’s quite moving. You might even need a few tissues to get you through a few of the more touching moments as Phil and Kay describe Phil’s walk from the darkness into the light. Not only that, but Jep Robertson also gets real about the worst time in his life when his family finally had to give him an ultimatum to turn him around. And lastly there is Reed Robertson, Jase’s son, who reveals the he almost committed suicide after the show started and explains what happened.

Fans of the Robertsons are now being offered an unprecedented look at their lives before they hit the big-time in an upcoming 30-minute Christian motivational film by I Am Second. In the movie, the Robertsons divulge details about their past demons, opening up about the drinking and infidelity that almost tore them all apart.

“The Robertson’s wanted to share the deeper story beyond their name. We love them on television, but there is so much more to them than that,” filmmaker Scott Mayo told FOX411. “They have this incredible story about their life and faith, and wanted to tell this story to inspire others… Just because they are on TV doesn’t make them perfect.”

After interviewing three generations of the very famous family – Phil, Miss Kay, son Jep and grandson Reed– Mayo said he was surprised at how open and candid the stars were in vocalizing their difficult history.

“Phil lives with a lot of conviction and shared a lot of dark struggles from his past. He did it in a way that was bold and raw,” continued the filmmaker, adding that simply being in the presence of Phil through the production was a profound experience in and of itself. “If there was any silence in the room, he would just start pontificating and laying down some shotgun wisdom.”

In a dimly lit room, Phil begins by opening up about how he initially pushed those trying to introduce him to Jesus away.

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Jokes

Joke Of The Day: What Religion Is Your Bra?

Rubber ChickenA man walked into the ladies’ department of Macy’s and shyly said to the woman at the counter, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

“Type?” inquired the man. “There’s more than one type?”

“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color, and material imaginable. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.”

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied, “There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?”

Now befuddled again, the man asked about the differences between them.

The saleslady responded, “It’s really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.”

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Praise the Almighty

Rubber ChickenMrs. Smith, an old lady who lived in the countryside, had a peculiar habit. She would step onto her front porch every morning, raise her arms to the sky, and yell, “Praise the Almighty!”

Her new neighbor, Mr. Fowler who had just moved in, happened to be an atheist. Mr. Fowler didn’t like Mrs. Smith’s morning ritual. So, he would retaliate by stepping onto his front porch after her and shouting: “There’s no Almighty!”.

Time passed with the two of them carrying on the same way every day.

One morning, when it was bitter cold, Mrs. Smith stepped onto her front porch and yelled: “Praise the Almighty! I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Almighty!”

The next morning when she stepped out onto her porch, she saw a big bag of groceries lying there.

“Praise the Almighty!” she cried out. “He has provided groceries for me!”

Her atheist neighbor, Mr. Fowler jumped out of the bushes and shouted: “There is no Almighty. I bought those groceries!”

Mrs. Smith threw her arms into the air and shouted: “Praise the Almighty! He has provided groceries for me and made the Devil pay for it!!!”

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Sex On The Sabbath

Rubber ChickenA man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the Bible, the priest says, ” My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays.”

The man thinks: ” What does a priest know about sex?” So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.

He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority:
a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, ” My son, sex is definitely play.”

The man replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?”

The Rabbi softly speaks, “If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it.”

 

 

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