Tag: Religion

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.

However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man’s job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was cheating on him and his kids wouldn’t give him the time of the day.

So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked: “Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn’t even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity.

Why is this?” And a great voice was heard from above …

“BECAUSE HE DOESN’T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME.”

Amusing

The Churches of Jerusalem

Video Description:

Though there are many sacred sites peppered around Israel, Jerusalem has a magic no other place can produce. Jerusalem is home to beautiful churches and other sacred and historical sites.

Israel has more than a million specifically Christian visitors each year. Many of them spend most of their time in Jerusalem — where pilgrims from all sects of Christianity can pray at the city’s sacred sites.

One of the churches that stand out is the gold topped Church of Mary Magdalene — a distinctive Jerusalem landmark on the Mount of Olives.

There’s also the Church of All Nations, located at the foot of the Mount of Olives next to the Garden of Gethsemane. According to Catholicism, a section of stone in the Garden of Gethsemane is believed to be where Jesus prayed on the night of his arrest. Protestants, however, believe this to be the site of Jesus’s crucifixion.

Above all, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in the Old City, attracts the bulk of tourists. Within the walls of this enormous church it is believed that Jesus was stripped of his clothes, nailed to the cross, crucified, and buried. The energy in this church is exciting even for non-believers.

In addition to their historical significance, many of the churches are architecturally interesting as well. Visitors will delight in the Gothic-style stained glass windows, the 19th century mosaics, and the structural design of the churches.

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy’s in New York City. He tells the saleslady, I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B.

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, What kind of bra?

He repeated A Jewish bra. She said to tell you she wanted a Jewish bra and you would know what she wanted.

Ah, now I remember, said the saleslady. We don’t get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra.

Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked So, what are the differences?

The saleslady responded. It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright.

He mused on that information for a minute and said: Hmmm. I know I’ll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?

A Jewish bra, she replied, makes mountains out of molehills.

Amusing

The Great Vatican Debate

Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked an elderly aged man named Moishe to represent them. Rabbi Moishe’s Latin wasn’t very good – in fact, he knew very little–but he was a man of great faith and well respected in the Jewish community. The pope agreed. What could be easier than a silent debate?

The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, “I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay.”

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?”

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe. “What happened?” they asked. “Well,” said Moishe, “First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here.” “And then?” asked a woman. “I don’t know,” said Moishe. “He took out his lunch and I took out mine.”

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