The entertainment for this weekend is this video, a collection of celebrities joining in on “Pfft You Were Gone”, from Hee Haw’s 10th Anniversary Celebration.
Enjoy!
Tag: Rednecks
You Might Be a Redneck….a Different Take
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It’s time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I’d choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit — that’s what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya’ll know who ya ’ll are.
You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, ‘One nation, under God.’
You might be a redneck if: You’ve never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a redneck if: You still say ‘ Christmas’ instead of ‘Winter Festival.’
You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
You might be a redneck if: You’ve never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren’t afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
You might be a redneck if: You’d give your last dollar to a friend.
If you have read this far, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this post.
God Bless the USA !
Hat tip Uncle Artie
Joke Of The Day
Billy Bob’s pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and your brother came in and named them.”
The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother… he’s an idiot!” Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”
“Denise,” says the doctor.
The new mother says, “Wow, that’s a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise.” Then she asks, “What’s the boy’s name?”
“Denephew.”
Joke Of The Day: Russian vs. Redneck
A Russian and a Redneck wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal
Before the final match, the Redneck wrestler’s trainer came to him and said ‘Now, don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of this ‘pretzel’ hold he has.
Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you’re finished.’
The redneck nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, the Redneck and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening.
All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Redneck and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost.
He couldn’t watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a Long, High Pitched Scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air.
His back hit the mat with a thud and the Redneck collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded.
When he finally got his wrestler alone,he asked ‘How did you ever get out of that hold ?
No one has ever done it before!’
The wrestler answered ‘Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face.. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.’
The trainer exclaimed ‘That’s what finished him off?’
‘Not really. You’d be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts!’
How to tell if you are an Extreme Redneck
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league, bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, ‘Hey, guys, watch this.’
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines. ‘
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
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