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Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The Three Wise Men

December 31, 2012December 31, 2012 gags

In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!”

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a particular passage.

Sticking it in my face she said, “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise men came from afar.'”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The Four Wishes

December 11, 2012October 23, 2012 gags

A Mexican (an undocumented Democrat), a Black, a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand.

He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.”I can only grant four wishes, “the Genie said. “Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece.”

Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish.”

The Black studied for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa ..”

Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.

The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!”

Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.

The Muslim said, “I wish for ten thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah.”

Poof! It was done! ten thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, “And what is your wish?

The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.

The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn’t get any better than this!”