Tag: Rednecks

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Stanley’s Funeral

Joke Of The Day: Stanley's Funeral Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, “Nope, ain’t Stanley .”

The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, “Yup, he’s pretty well-burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Stanley.”

The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”

Gomer said, “Well, Stanley had two ass-holes.” “What! He had two ass-holes?” asked the mortician. “Yup, we never seen ’em, but everybody used to say, there’s Stanley with them two ass-holes.”

 

 

Amusing Funny

Champagne Taste (On a Beer Budget)

Home Free performs “Champagne Taste (On a Beer Budget)”.

Enjoy!

The other day, I checked my bank account
I could swear it was the wrong amount
And I didn’t understand ’cause
I’d been workin’ hard
For the life of me, I didn’t know where it went
I hadn’t even paid the rent
Then the Mercedes pulled up in the yard
Oh, lord, I should have seen it comin’
This time I’m in deep

Now I’m headin’ to the poorhouse
Or headin’ to jail
And if I end up there
I ain’t makin’ bail
And if it goes to court
I sure don’t have a case
‘Cause I ran out of money
Some time ago
But if you look at my wife
You’d never know
I’m afraid my baby’s got champagne taste
On a beer budget

Well. my throat dried up
And my heart just sunk
As she motioned me over
And popped the trunk
And I tried to ignore her absent-minded smile
And, boy, I was greeted by quite the crew
This Louis Vuitton and some Jimmy Choo
And that was just the fellas who were sittin’ on top of the pilei
I said, Baby, there’s a Walmart a block away
And I don’t think they sell these brands

Now I’m headin’ to the poorhouse
Or headin’ to jail
And if I end up there
I ain’t makin’ bail
And if it goes to court
I sure don’t have a case
‘Cause I ran out of money
Some time ago
But if you look at my wife
You’d never know
I’m afraid my baby’s got champagne taste
On a beer budget

All the bills are in my name
*All the bills are in his name*
They’re gonna haul my ass away
*They’re gonna haul his ass away*
And I won’t see her pretty face at all
*No-o-o*
‘Cause the prison ls nowhere near the mall

Now I’m headin’ to the poorhouse
Or headin’ to jail
And if I end up there
I ain’t makin’ bail
And if it goes to court
I sure don’t have a case
*Yee-haw*
‘Cause I ran out of money
Some time ago
But if you look at my wife
You’d never know
I’m afraid my baby’s got champagne taste
On a beer budget

Oh, oh

 

Home Free - Champagne Taste (On a Beer Budget)

 

Amusing How To

Redneck Margarita Machine

Redneck ingenuity at it’s finest.

Enjoy!

There’s a famous saying online that goes “if it’s stupid, and works, it’s not stupid.” That line certainly applies to this homemade margarita machine. The giant, 10 gallon ‘red neck’ machine is made out of two water coolers and a 1.5 horse power garbage disposal.

Source…

 

Redneck Margarita Machine

 

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