Joke Of The Day: Just A Wee Bit

Rubber Chicken An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry an extraordinarily beautiful woman so they could produce gorgeous children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

“Well,” the Redneck simply replied, “they’re all lookin’ to get married, so you came to the right place. Why don’t you look ’em over and pick the one you want?”

The man was ecstatic, and decided to take each one out to dinner to size them all up. The first night he dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for the man’s opinion.

“Well,” said the man, “she’s just a wee bit… not that you can hardly notice… pigeon-toed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.

“Well,” the man replied, “she’s just a wee bit… not that you can hardly tell… cross-eyed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, “She’s perfect, just perfect! She’s the one I want to marry.”

The redneck gave his blessing, so the couple was wed immediately. Months later their first baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

“Well,” explained the Redneck, “she was just a wee bit… not that you could hardly tell… pregnant when you met her.”

 

 

You Might Be A High Tech Redneck If…

High Tech RedneckYou Might Be A High Tech Redneck If…

Your e-mail address ends in “@over.yonder.com.”

You connect to the World Wide Web via a “Down Home Page.”

Your laptop has a sticker that says, “Protected by Smith and Wesson.”

You wire your network with jumper cables.

Your wife said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don’t miss her.

You’ve ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your drink on.

You ever refer to your computer as “Ole Bessy.”

Three Words: Daisy Duke Screensaver

Your spell checker knows words like, “Y’all”, “Yonder”, and “Reckon.”

Your yard is full of dead CPUs, printers, modems and monitors.

Your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5″ disk drive.

You ever felt you had to move your computer desk so it didn’t block the velvet picture of Elvis.

Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spit can.

Your wife catches you again with your “Farm Animals of the Orient” CD-ROM.

When you order your new pick-up truck with a gun rack and USB ports.

Your PC Games collection consists of nothing but Bass Fishing tournament games.

You only buy from Gateway, ’cause the cow boxes are a hoot.

 

A Very Avid Fisherman

a very avid fisherman

A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked, “That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.”

“Oh, he still is,” remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he’s headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.”

 

Source…

Load More