Tag: Redneck

Amusing

Redneck Poem: Susie Lee Done Fell In Love

Redneck Poem: Susie Lee Done Fell In LoveSusie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy ’bout it all
And she told her Pappy so.
But Pappy said, ‘Susie, gal,
You’ll have to find another
I’d just as soon ya Ma don’t know,
But Joe is yo’ half brother.’

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, ‘There’s trouble still ..
You can’t marry Will, my gal
And please don’t tell your Mother,
But Will and Joe and several mo’
I know is yo’ half brother.’

But Mama knew and said to her,
‘My chile, do what makes ya happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe,
You ain’t no kin to Pappy.’



Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Redneck Elevator

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, ‘Paw, what’s at?’

The father responded, ‘Son, I dunno. I ain’t never seen anything like that in my whole life, I ain’t got no idea’r what it is.

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son……….

‘Boy………………go gitcha Momma!’

Amusing

Redneck Medical Dictionary

Benign – What you be, after you be eight.
Artery – The study of paintings
Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria
Barium – what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section – a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan – searching for kitty
Cauterize – made eye contact with her
Colic – a sheep dog
Coma– a punctuation mark
D & C – Where Washington is
Dilate – to live long
Enema – Not a friend
Fester – quicker than someone else
Fibula – a small lie
Genital – a non-Jewish person
GI series – World series of military baseball
Hangnail – what you hang your coat on
Impotent – distinguished, well-known
Labor pain – getting hurt at work
Medical staff – a doctor’s cane
Morbid – a higher offer
Nitrates – cheaper than day rates
Node – I knew it
Outpatient – a person who has fainted
Pap Smear – A fatherhood test
Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative – a letter carrier
Recovery room – place to do upholstery
Rectum – darn near killed him
Secretion – hiding something
Seizure – a Roman emperor
Tablet – a small table
Terminal Illness – getting sick at the airport
Tumor – one more plus one more
Urine – opposite of you’re out
Varicose – nearby / close by

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