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Tag: Rabbi
Joke Of The Day: The Confessional
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A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he’d stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, ‘Father, forgive me for I have sinned.’ The priest asks, ‘What did you do?’ The woman says, ‘I committed adultery.’ The priest says, ‘How many times?’ And the woman replies, ‘Three.’ Priest: ‘Say two Hail Mary’s, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more.’ A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, ‘Father forgive me for I have sinned.’ ‘What did you do?’ ‘I committed adultery.’ ‘How many times?’ ‘Three times.’ The priest says, ‘Say two Hail Mary’s, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.’ The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he’s got it, so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says, ‘Father, forgive me for I have sinned.’ The rabbi says, ‘What did you do?’ The woman replies, ‘I committed adultery.’ The rabbi, getting it off pat, says, ‘How many times?’ The woman replies, ‘Once.’ The rabbi said, ‘Go and do it two more times, We have a special this week, three for $5.’ |
Joke Of The Day: The Trids
Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.
The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.
The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:
“Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!”
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