Tag: Queen Elizabeth

Amusing

Our Sincerest Apologies to Great Britain

Dear Great Britain, WE’RE SORRY…

We’re sorry we sent that idiot community organizer over there.

He’s been a complete asstard to our closest allies (you among Israel) and has shown the same level of irresponsible foreign policy as his irresponsible domestic policy.

You see, we were duped. We fell for the “Hope and Change” crap he threw at us without knowing what it really meant. This is perhaps the major media’s fault since they were supposed to investigate and report that but I guess that tingle in their leg had them distracted because it couldn’t have been a broader conspiracy could it? We were mesmerized by his mannerism and articulate persona and were purposely kept in the dark that he had no experience by that Pravda/KGB-like propaganda machine of leftist elitists and anti-American activists.

We’re trying to expose all his lies but he just created his Ministry of Information on top of his compliant mainstream media so that will make things extremely difficult.

In the meantime, we apologize for his following actions:

1. Siding with Argentina over the Falklands

2. Calling France America’s strongest ally

3. Downgrading the Special Anglo-American Relationship

4. Supporting a federal Europe and undercutting British sovereignty 5. Betraying Britain to appease Moscow over the New START Treaty

7. Throwing your inspirational gift of Churchill’s statue out of the Oval Office

8. The insulting gift of DVDs for the Prime Minister and the insulting iPod gift to her Majesty

9. Insulting words from the State Department (when Obama’s crony said; “There’s nothing special about Britain. You’re just the same as the other 190 countries in the world. You shouldn’t expect special treatment.”)

10. Undermining British influence in NATO

11. Claiming he’s Irish

12. Writing the wrong year in the ledger (the idiot also thinks we have 57 states)

13. Speaking during your national anthem (he feels all his speeches should have music behind them, he’s a megalomaniac)

14. Just being a snobbish ******* (think it goes back to his father but probably just his megalomania)

We, your brothers and sisters in America apologize for the actions of this moron and we hope that the majority of us see him for what he is and NOT be duped into putting him back in office come November 2012.

We’re sorry.

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: “Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses.

They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire.

The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses.

The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama, “Mr. President please accept my regrets… I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.”

Barack Hussein Obama, always trying to be “Presidential,” replied: “Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought.

Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

President Obama meets with the Queen of England . He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”

“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.” Obama frowns. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?” Tony Blair walks into the room “Yes, my Queen?”

The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and Father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, “That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good,” says the Queen.

Back in the White house , President Obama asks to speak with Joe Biden.

“Answer this for me. Your mother and your Father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” says Joe. “Let me get back to you on that one.”

Joe goes to his advisers and asks everyone, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up at a fancy restaurant where he bumps into Bill Clinton.

Joe looks around to see if anyone can overhear them, and he whispers, Bill! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?” Bill whispers back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”

Joe smiles and says “Thanks!”

Joe goes back to the White house to speak with Pres Obama. “Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Bill Clinton.”

Obama gets up, stomps over to Joe, and angrily yells into his face, “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

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