Joke Of The Day

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him “Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots but they only know to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest asked.

They say “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed.

Then he thought for a moment. “You know,” he said “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.”

“My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.”

“Thank you.” the woman responded. “This may very well be the solution.”

The next day she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in,
she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

There was stunned silence.

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says… “Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!”

Joke Of The Day

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas ..

Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a Fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station…

The conversation went like this:

”Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

”And the best of the day to yerself.. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead on me front lawn ”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ”Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a moment…

Then Father O’Malley replied: “Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.”

Joke Of The Day

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church, sits down in a confession box and says nothing.

The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replies: “No use knockin’ mate, there’s no paper in this one either.”

Joke Of The Day

A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep. There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed.

Being a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. I´ll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag.”

Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said “Father, I´m cold.”

He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got a blanket and put it on her. Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, “Father, I´m still very cold.”

He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again.

Just as his eyes closed, she said, “Father, I´m sooooo cold.”

This time, he remained there and said, “Sister, I have an idea. We´re out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let´s pretend we´re married.”

The nun said, “That´s fine by me.”

To which the priest yelled out, “Get up and get your own blanket!”

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