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A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.
There was a baby pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied, “Ah, he’s not that friendly. That’s his bowl you’re using.”
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Do you think sheep know when you’re pulling the wool over their eyes?
Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock?
If we make sweaters out of a sheep’s hair, what do the sheep use to make sweaters?
If you can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear what can you make with it?
If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll?
What do pigs say when they don’t want to do something? Would it be ‘Yea when humans fly’?
What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep?
Why can’t pigs look up into the sky?
Why do pigs have curly tails?
Why do we call them guinea pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn?
Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?
Would a small pig be called a hamlet?
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A little pig, upon entering a bar, walks up to the bartender and asks for 10 glasses of beer. Upon finishing the last of his beers he gets up, pays the bartender, and then asks him for directions to the bathroom.
Just as the first pig is leaving, a second one enters the bar. He too walks up to the bartender and asks for beer, but this pig asks for 20 glasses instead of 10. Upon finishing the last of his beers he too gets up, pays the bartender and then asks him where the bathroom is. The 2nd pig leaves, and in comes a 3rd little pig. He walks up to the bartender and asks for 30 beers. Then upon finishing the last of his beers, he too gets up, pays the bartender and then asks where the bathroom is. By this stage the bartender has begun to notice a pattern. In comes pig No. 4. As soon as the bartender spots this pig he begins poring 40 glasses of beer. The 4th pig drinks all 40 glasses as fast as if his life depended on it. Then, when he had finished, he pays the bill and asks the bartender for directions to the toilet. The bartender was astonished that pigs could drink so much, yet he was even more surprised when a 5th little pig walked in and asked for 50 glasses of beer. The bartender, who’s completely astonished, complies and hands the pig his beer before remarking “I suppose you’ll be wanting directions to the bathroom like the others”. To which the pig responded “Oh no thanks. I’m the 5th pig, i go ‘Wee Wee Wee’ all the way home”. |
