Joke Of The Day

A rather large lady had saved her money for a long time to be able to afford a cruise on a ship to the Bahama’s.

When she gets settled in her cabin she goes to the dining room for her first meal on board, and is invited to sit at the Captain’s table.

As she is seated at the table a mimmicking voice behind her loudly squawks, “Aawwk, Lady! How’s your hole?”

Totally embarrassed, she turns to see a parrot on his perch behind her. She says to the steward, “Will you “Please” get rid of that foul mouthed beast?”

The steward replies, “I can’t madam, that is the Captains parrot, which he dearly loves.”

As the meal progresses to its end the bird continues to harrass the lady with his loud squawks, “Aawwk, Lady! How’s your hole?”

The embarrassed woman finally retires to her cabin and goes into a restless sleep.

In the middle of the night the ship sinks rather suddenly and the lady finds herself floating in the ocean on a chest. As daylight breaks the next morning the lady hears this loud squawk behind her, “Aawwk, Lady! How’s your Hole?”

The lady turns around to see the parrot floating on some debris and she replies, “Aah, Shut Up!”

The parrot says, “Aawwk, Mine too! Must be the salt water!”

Joke Of The Day

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him “Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots but they only know to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest asked.

They say “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed.

Then he thought for a moment. “You know,” he said “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.”

“My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.”

“Thank you.” the woman responded. “This may very well be the solution.”

The next day she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in,
she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

There was stunned silence.

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says… “Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!”

Joke Of The Day

A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot. But the only words the parrot knows how to say are: “Who is it?” She takes the parrot home, but soon realizes that the bird’s color clashes with the living room. So she calls an Interior designer, who says he will come by shortly.

When the Decorator comes, the woman is out shopping. He knocks on the door, and the parrot says “who is it?”

The man says, “It’s the decorator.”

The parrot says “who is it?”

The man says “It’s the decorator.”

The parrot says “Who is it?”

The man says “It’s the decorator!!!”

The parrot says “who is it?”

The man screams “The decorator!”

The decorator gets so mad, that he pops a blood vessel, and dies on the spot.

The lady comes home and finds a dead man lying on her front porch. She says, “Oh my gosh…who is it?”

The parrot replies, “It’s the decorator!”

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