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Picture Of The Day: Opposite Ends
Pictures
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Oct 262017
Joke Of The Day: Texting And The Elderly
Jokes
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Oct 252017
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An elderly couple learned to send text messages on their mobile phones.
The wife, a retired college English instructor with emphasis on the Classics, was an unapologetic romantic; her husband, a retired salty Navy chief petty officer of thirty years’ service, was a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went to the local Starbucks’s to meet a friend for coffee. While awaiting her friend’s arrival, she exercised her new skill by sending her husband a romantic text message: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” The husband responded: “I’m takin’ a dump. Please advise.”
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Oct 122017
Joke Of The Day: Elderly Floridian
Jokes
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Oct 112017
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An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
“They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!” she cried. The dispatcher said, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way.” A few minutes later, the officer radios in. “Disregard.” He says. “She got in the backseat by mistake.”
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Joke Of The Day: The Passport
Jokes
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Sep 272017
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An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died.
Until now, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please. “The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question. The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, “Uhhh . . . all by myself?”
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