Tag: Old Age

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The Passport

Joke Of The Day: The Passport An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died.

Until now, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.

“You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please. “The old gal raised her right hand.

“Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question.

The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, “Uhhh . . . all by myself?”

 

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Not Getting Older… Getting Better

Joke Of The Day: Not Getting Older... Getting Better For his wife’s birthday, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:

“You are not getting older, You are getting better.”

When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”

It wasn’t until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read:

“YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP, YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.”

 

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Sharing Everything

Joke Of The Day: Sharing Everything An old couple walk into MacDonald’s. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife.

He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and sets the cup down between them.

As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering.”That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.”

As the man begins to eat his fries, a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the couple.

The old man replies that they’re just fine – they’re just used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman says,”No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything,”

As the old man finishes and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks,”May I ask what is it you are waiting for?”

The old woman answers….

“THE TEETH”

 

 

 

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