Every year they’d attend the county fair and every year Earl would look at Peggy and say, “Look at those planes! I’d love to ride one of those planes..”
And every year Peggy would reply, “Yeah, but it costs $10, and $10 is $10!”
Finally, the year came for Earl’s 75th birthday. They go to the fair and again, Earl exclaims “Look at those planes! I’d love to ride one of those planes..”
To which Peggy again replied, Yeah, but $10 is $10.”
The pilot overheard the exchange and chimed in, “Listen, I’ll give you both a ride, and if you don’t say a word or scream during the entire ride, the ride is free. But if you do, you will owe me $20 for the ride.”
Earl got so excited about his opportunity and both he and Peggy hopped on the plane. The pilot pulled out all the tricks. Barrel roles, loops, corkscrews, everything he could to get some kind of noise, but they were quiet the whole ride.
Finally, they landed and the pilot said, “I can’t believe you two didn’t make a sound!”
Earl said to the pilot, “I was going to say something when Peggy fell out, but $10 is $10.”
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: Are you the owner?
The pharmacist answers, Yes.
Jacob: Were about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?
Pharmacist: Of course we do.
Jacob: How about medicine for circulation?
Pharmacist: All kinds.
Jacob: Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?
Pharmacist: Definitely.
Jacob: How about Viagra?
Pharmacist: Of course.
Jacob: Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?
Pharmacist: Yes, a large variety. The works.
Jacob: What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinsons disease?
Pharmacist: Absolutely.
Jacob: You sell wheelchairs and walkers?
Pharmacist: All speeds and sizes.
Jacob: We would like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.
The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that.
The teenager tells her “Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!” and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.
“Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets.”