A couple go to a bar during karaoke night, and they hear a man sing to most beautiful cover of Stairway to Heaven they had ever heard. Since they were planning their wedding at this time, they approach the man after his performance.
“Wow, that was an amazing cover! Would you like to come perform at the reception of our wedding?” they ask him.
“I would love to! As a matter of fact, I’m a justice too, so I could even wed you two in the same day!” he replied.
So it was settled, and the man showed up to their wedding, and he performed a beautiful ceremony.
Everything was going just perfect … until the reception. Every song the man sang was absolutely horrendous; he was off-key in every verse, and at some points even forgot the lyrics.
An old geezer, who had been a retired fireman for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said:Dr. Paul Geezer’s clinic. “Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.This is what transpired.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth.” can you please help me ??
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh no you don’t, — that is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak — I can hardly see !!!!
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so — ” Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr. Young: “But this is only $500…”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “Geezer ” !!!!
An engaged couple were at the bride to be’s family home doing wedding planning stuff. The mother and father had to leave after a while. The bride to be, realized she needed more envelopes for the invitations.
“I’m going to run into town with Suzy. You just go ahead and stay here.” she told her fiancee.
After she left her eighteen year old sister came down. She was smokin hot, and wearing a slutty little getup. She had always been a bit catty towards him, but today she was giving him a look he’d only seen in her older sisters eyes before.
“Everyone going to be gone a while…” she said smiling. “Why don’t you come upstairs and have one last fling before you get married.” She winked at him as his jaw dropped. Halfway up the stairs she dropped her panties and tossed them down towards him.
Sitting there in astonishment he watched her go upstairs. The next thing you know he bolted for the front door.
Outside was his fiancee, her best friend Suzy, and his future in-laws.
The father grabbed him in a big hug and said “Son! Welcome to the family. Sorry I had to do that, and get everyone in but I had to make sure you were really as good a guy as my daughter has said.”
The moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Many hundreds of years ago, in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant’s beautiful daughter, so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant’s debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.
The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble. 2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat. 3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl put her hand into the money bag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path, where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
“Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.
