Via iOwnTheWorld
Tag: Mexicans
Mexican Words Of The Day
1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence. Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.
2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car there’s not mushroom.
3. *Shoulder*
My fren wants 2 become a citizen, but che didn’t know how to read, so I, shoulder.
4. *Texas*
When I’m not home, my fren always Texas me, che wonders where I am!
5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece then che got herpes.
6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store but ju went to see sum guy, July to me! Julyer!
7. *Rectum*
I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!
8. *Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife but che said chicken go herself.
9. *Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left but don’t worry wheelchair
10. *Chicken* *wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.
11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women. I told her, “Honey, harassment nothen to me
12. *Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.
13. *Body wash*
I want to go to the club But no body wash my kids.
14. *Budweiser*
That women has a nice body, Budweiser face so ugly?
News Flash – Obama and Holder Hold News Conference on Beheading in Arizona
President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder held a a news conference this morning on the beheading in Arizona by suspected Mexican drug gangs. President Obama said: “Look folks…this whole thing is being overblown, just another GOP effort to stoke the fires of anti-immigrant fervor. Our initial investigation shows this was not a “murder” at all…I’ll have Holder speak to the details…”
Attorney General Holder stated: “This was not a murder by Mexicans. The gentleman who passed away apparently choked on a chicken bone and several of his undocumented immigrant friends who were visiting from across the border tried to give him a tracheotomy…unsuccessfully. This is a very delicate operation and apparently his friends lacked the training to do it successfully and accidentally severed his head in the process. These immigrants are not murderers, they are victims who should be given a life saving medal for their heroic efforts”.
President Obama then continued: “Because of their heroic, but unsuccessful efforts, I am committing a billion dollars to training basic lifesaving techniques, in Spanish, to undocumented aliens. Without training these kinds of accidents will happen and it was an unnecessary tragedy that we are responsible for…had we trained our visitors before this mans life may have been saved. I am going to give the Presidents Medal to all three gentleman who heroically tried to save this man…however, they are all back in Mexico…we fully expect them to come back across the border in a day or two so as soon as we can contact them we will have a News Conference to award them for their heroic efforts.”
Joke Of The Day
The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix. He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop, the people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks, or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.
One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.
‘I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me one million dollars to ask one question.’
The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.
The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky.
All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the blue pigeon. The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city.
The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall.
The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing,the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.
The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.
Do you think the Mayor is going to ask how the blue pigeon led all the pigeons away?
Do you think the Mayor is going to ask where all the Pigeons went?
Do you think he is going to ask where the man got the blue pigeon?
Nooooooo!
The mayor asked:
‘Do you have a blue Mexican?’
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