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Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife was not wearing any underwear!
Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill’s wife followed him and asked, “Did you see anything that you liked under there?” John admitted that, well, yes he did. She said, “You can have it, but it will cost you $100.” After a minute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn’t, John should come to her house around 2:00 pm on Friday. Friday came and John went to her house at 2:00 pm. After paying her $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex, and then John left. Bill came home about 6:00 pm. He asked his wife, “Did John come by the afternoon?” Reluctantly, she replied, “Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.” Next Bill asked, “Did John give you $100?” She thinks, ‘Oh hell, he knows!’ Finally she says, “Yes, he did give me $100.” “Good,” Bill says. “John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.” |
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A gorgeous woman visited a world-renowned psychic. In a dark and unnaturally cold room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered some grave news:
“There’s no easy way to say this, my dear so I’ll just tell you what I see: your husband is a powerful man, but prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death later this year.” Visibly shaken, the customer stared at the woman’s wrinkled, wise-looking face, then at the flickering candle on the table, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. “I simply have to know one thing,” she finally says. The fortune teller met her gaze. The woman steadied her voice, and finally got the words out: “Will I be acquitted?” |
