Chicago Math Test

CHICAGO RELEVANT MATH TEST

Chicago Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations!

NAME __________________________________

GANG/CREW NAME _______________________

CRIB __________________________________

1. LeJames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many mofos can LeJames ice on a drive-by before he gotta reload?

2. Willie has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho’s. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne’s $800 per day Crack habit?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4×4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4×4’s, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother’s bail?

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

9. Lafawanda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawanda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawanda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week’s income?

10. Marvin steals Juan’s skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

 

Joke Of The Day: Marriage Math

Rubber Chicken A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”

“Sixteen,” the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. “How do you know that?”

“Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer”

 

 

New Math

New Math

math-pi
Shopping Math

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.

Office Math

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Romance Math

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

General Math

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

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