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He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth… in and out… in and out.
It was going on 20 minutes at this point… Her heart was pounding… her face was flushed… then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted: “OK, OK! I can’t park the damn car! You do it, you smug bastard!” |
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A man with a black eye takes his seat on a plane where he notices the gentleman next to him also has a black eye.
“So how’d you get that black eye.” he asks “Well it was a slip of the tongue. I meant to ask the attractive woman at the desk for, “one ticket to Pittsburgh”. Instead I asked for, “one picket to Titsburgh” and she punched me. What about you?” “Mine was a slip of the tongue too. This morning at breakfast I meant to ask my wife, “honey please pass me the Cheerios”. But instead it came out, “you ruined my life you stupid bitch.” |
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In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.
Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous… or what?” “Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied. “It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.” |
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A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a psychiatrist.
The doctor tells him he has to develop self esteem. The doctor gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the door and his wife comes to greet him, he tells her, “From now on I’m the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want my dinner on the table. Now get upstairs and lay me some clothes on the bed because I’m going out with the boys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?” “The undertaker.” she replies. |
