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After being married for 25 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her carefully, then said, “You are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.” “What does that mean?” she asked suspiciously. He said, Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot!” She beamed at him happily and said: “Oh, that’s so lovely! But what about I, J and K?” “I’m Just Kidding!“ (The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctors are fairly optimistic about saving his genitals).
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Three friends married women from different parts of the world.
The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Canada. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
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An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most.
“When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!” They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished. He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life? The wife put down her drink and said…”let the old guy dig. I had him buried upside down.”
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When her beloved husband and father of her children passed away suddenly in February 2016 at the age of 51 from a ruptured artery, his wife was devastated. For years, he had been her rock and without him, she didn’t know how she could go on.
In the months that followed his loss, his wife got involved in metal engraving to help subdue her grief. It worked for a time. Eventually, she needed a space to expand her work and moved to the workbench her husband had built for her, being a skilled carpenter.
During that same time, their grieving son realized that the work bench was wobbly. So, he went to reinforce the leg and secure them with bolts. He learned that technique from his departed father.
That’s when he realized something was hidden on the bench…
The son flipped over the workbench and saw something startling. His father had scribbled a note on the underside of the workbench. He had written paragraphs of lovely words in his trademark red marker.
If the grieving son had not been proactive to fix the workbench’s wobbly legs, they never would have discovered the beloved father’s final words. And he just had to share his miraculous find with the internet.
“My dad passed away on February 26th at the age of 51 from a ruptured artery,” his son wrote on Imgur. “He made this workbench for my mom, Becca, when she got into metal engraving.”
The son continued: “He was technically my step dad, but being as how I’ve never met my biological father, he was the only and best father I had.”
Mason, the man who passed, taught his son everything he knew about carpentry. Without his father passing on his skill, the young man never would have discovered the secret message.
The inscription read:
“I love you Becca.
“Whatever day this is, I hope it’s a good one. God truly answered my prayers the day he gave me you. I know that these days are the best I’ll ever have, and I’m glad you’re in them.
“I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this, but if you do, just know that I love you very much. If there is one thing want in life, it is to be as good to you as you are to me. If I can do that, I’ll be the happiest man alive.
“I love you beautiful wife. — Mason”
When the boy showed his father’s inscription to his mom, she was touched to tears. The discovery of the love note was both emotional and bittersweet.
Mason’s son and wife wanted the inscription preserved. The young man removed the two planks from the workbench and then installed them in a frame.
Now this man’s love note is going viral. And it is inspiring men all over the country to do the same kind of thing for their wives and loved ones.
Their son says, “I have never seen two people so much in love.”
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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device, a dildo! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. You impotent bastard, She screamed at him, How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself! The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids.
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