 |
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, “Because people are sleeping!”
|
Tag: Little Johnny
Joke Of The Day: No Ears Baby
 |
Little Johnny’s neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib, he said, “What a beautiful baby.” The mother said, “Why, thank you, Johnny.” Johnny said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see alright?” “Yes,” the mother replied, “We are so thankful; the doctor said he will have perfect vision.” “That’s great,” said Little Johnny, “Coz he’d be in trouble if he needed glasses.”
|
Joke Of The Day: Classroom Motivation
 |
One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said, “Winston Churchill.” “Congratulations,” said the teacher, “you may go home early.” The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but..” Before she could finish the quote, another young lady belts out, “John F. Kennedy!” “Very good,” says the teacher, “you may go also.” Irritated that he has missed two golden opportunities, Little Johnny said, “I wish those girls would just shut up.” Upon overhearing this comment, the outraged teacher demanded to know who said it. Johnny instantly rose to his feet and said, “Bill Clinton. I’ll see you Monday.” |
Joke Of The Day: The Obama Method
|
The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.
Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civic spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” “Very good”, said the teacher. Little Debbie was next. “I sold magazines” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.” “Very good, Debbie”, said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467,” he said. “$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were selling?” “Toothbrushes”, said Little Johnny. “Toothbrushes?”, echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?” “I found the busiest corner in town”, said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.” They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog crap!” Then I would say, “It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it’s free, and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth.” |
Load More