Joke Of The Day: The Glasgow Brothel

Rubber Chicken The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

“May I help you sir?” she asked.

“I want to see Valerie,” the man replied.

“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam.

“No, I must see Valerie,” he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left..

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive. There were no discounts. The price was still £5000.

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.

Where are you from?”

The man replied, “Edinburgh.”

“Really”, she said. “I have family in Edinburgh.”

“I know.” the man said. “Your sister died, and I’m her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver your £15,000 inheritance in person…”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Lawyers Have No Heart

Rubber ChickenLawyers Have No Heart

Then there was this medical convention where three surgeons met during a coffee break. They were chatting about different operations on different kind of people.

First surgeon: “I prefer Chinese. They have what it takes and their bodies are perfect.”

Second surgeon: “I like Vietnamese. They are so small and delicate that you have to have steady hands, else the incision is big. It’s a challenge to operate on them.”

Third surgeon: “You are both novices. You don’t know about lawyers. They are my favorite because when you open them, they have no heart and they don’t have a spine. Also their heads and butts can be swapped.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: One Last Wish

Rubber ChickenAn old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?”

“It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?”

“That’s my business! Get me the course!”

Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.

Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, “please, before it’s too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before you died?”

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, “One less lawyer . . .”

 

 

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