Tag: Lawyers
Joke Of The Day: Heart Transplant
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An elderly man was in need of a heart transplant and his doctor was discussing his options with him.
“We have three possible donors, Mr. Smith.” the doctor said. “You’ll have to tell me which one you’d like us to use. The first is a healthy athlete who was killed in a car crash. The second is a middle-aged businessman who died in an accident, never having had a drink and never having smoked his entire life. The third is a lawyer who died after practicing law for 25 years.” The patient thought it over and told his doctor that he would take the lawyer’s heart.After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient his reason for choosing the donor he did. “It was an easy decision, doctor,” replied the patient. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.”
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Joke Of The Day: Swallowed Whole
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Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer-house in rural Maine. Each year, he invited a different friend to spend a week or two with him.
One year, he decided to invite a friend from the Czech Republic. The two friends had an amazing time together, rising early and going hiking in the great outdoors. Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czech friend went out to pick berries for their breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, they came across two enormous bears– a male and a female. Begley, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn’t as fleet afoot, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and tore into town as fast as he could. He got the local sheriff, who grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the bears were still there. “He’s in that one!” cried the lawyer, pointing to the male as visions of lawsuits from his friend’s family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the two bears, and without batting an eye, took careful aim and shot the female. “What’d ya do that for? I told you my friend was in the other!” exclaimed the Begley. “Exactly,” replied the sheriff. “And would you believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?” |
Joke Of The Day: The Bunny Trail
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One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, Ker-Plop!, right on his twitchy little nose. “Oh, please excuse me!” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see.”
“That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To be sure, it was my fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind too, and I didn’t see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?” “Well, I really don’t know,” said the bunny. “I’m blind, and I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.” So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, “Well, you’re soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose… You must be a bunny rabbit!” Then he said, “I can’t thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?” And the snake replied that he didn’t know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, “Well, what kind of animal am I?” So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, “You’re hard, you’re cold, you’re slimy and you haven’t got any balls… You must be a lawyer!“ |
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