Joke Of The Day

A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children about his tribe and its traditions, then shared with them this fun fact: “There are no swear words in the Cherokee language.”

One boy raised his hand, “But what if you’re hammering a nail and accidentally smash your thumb?”

“That,” the man answered, “is when we use your language.”

Politically Correct Female Terminology

She is not: An airhead
She is: Reality Impaired

She is not: A Bleached Blonde
She is: Peroxide Dependent

She is not: A babe or chick
She is: A Breasted American

She does not have: Major league hooters
She is: Pectorally Superior

She does not have: A Great Tan
She is: Pigmentally Enhanced

You do not want to: Score or pick her up
You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter

She is not: A perfect 10
She is: Numerically Superior

She does not have: A great butt
She has: A Superior Posterior

If she does not want to get: Married or hitched
She does not want: Domestic Incarceration

She is not: Half naked
She is: Wardrobe Impaired

She does not have: A perfect body
She is: Anatomically Gifted

She is not: Drunk or tipsy
She is: Chemically Inconvenienced

She is not: Small or short
She is: Vertically Challenged

Guide: Translating Californese into Texan

Translation into Texan of some common California euphemisms…

In California:

Means in Texas:

Diversity/Lifestyle Choice

Sinful and Perverted

Arsenal of Weapons

Gun Collection

Delicate Wetlands

Swamp

Undocumented Worker

Illegal Alien

Cruelty-Free Materials

Polyester

Assault and Battery

Attitude Adjustment

Heavily Armed

Well-protected

Narrow-minded

Righteous

Taxes or Your Fair Share

Coerced Theft

Commonsense Gun Control

Gun Confiscation Plot

Illegal Hazardous Explosives

Fireworks or Stump Removal

Nonviable Tissue Mass

Unborn Baby

Equal Access to Opportunity

Socialism

Multicultural Community

High Crime Area

Fairness /Social Progress

Marxism

Upper Class or “The Rich”

Self-Employed

Progressive, Change

Big Government Scheme

Homeless or Disadvantaged

Bums/Welfare Leeches

Sniper Rifle

Scoped Deer Gun

Investment For the Future

Higher Taxes

Healthcare Reform

Socialized Medicine

Extremist,/Judgmental/Hater

Conservative

High Capacity Magazine

Standard Mag

Religious Zealot

Church-going

Fair Trade Coffee

Overpriced Yuppie Coffee

Exploiters or “The Rich”

Employed/Land Owner

The Gun Lobby

NRA Members

Assault Weapon

Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine)

Fiscal Stimulus

New/Higher Taxes

Same Sex Marriage

Legalized Perversion

Source…

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