Tag: Language

Amusing

Southern Drawl Words Translated

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.The following are excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary:

  1. HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting.
  2. HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage “Heidi, Hire yew?”
  3. BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow. “Usage “My brother bard my pickup truck.”
  4. JAWJUH – (noun) – The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.”
  5. BAMMER – (noun) – The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”
  6. MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division. Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”
  7. THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”
  8. BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”
  9. IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See “Arkansas native.” Usage “Them bammer boys sure are ignert!”
  10. RANCH – (noun) – A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts. Usage “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”
  11. ALL – (noun) – A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”
  12. FAR – (noun) – A conflagration. Usage “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far.”
  13. TAR – (noun) – A rubber wheel. Usage “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”
  14. TIRE – (noun) – A tall monument. Usage “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”
  15. RETARD – (verb) – To stop working. Usage “My grampaw retard at age 65.”
  16. FAT – (noun), (verb) – a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”
  17. RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege. Usage “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”
  18. CHEER – (adverb) In this place. Usage “Just set that bare rat cheer.”
  19. FARN – (adjective) – Not domestic. Usage “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country.”
  20. DID – (adjective) – Not alive. Usage “He’s did, Jim.”
  21. ARE – (noun) – A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage “He cain’t breathe…give ‘im some ARE!”
  22. BOB WAR – (noun) – A sharp, twisted cable. Usage “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”
  23. JEW HERE – (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”
  24. HAZE – a contraction. Usage “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah…haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit’n ‘is laf.”
  25. SEED – (verb) – past tense of “to see”.
  26. VIEW – contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage “I ain’t never seed New York City … view?”
  27. GUBMINT – (noun) – A bureaucratic institution. Usage “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”

Jokes

The Pasta Diet and Your Health

ITALIAN PASTA DIET – IT WORKS!

  1. You walk pasta da bakery.
  2. You walka pasta da candy store.
  3. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
  4. You walka pasta da table and fridge.
  5. You will lose weight!

AND…. here’s the final word on nutrition and health.

  1. The Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you!

Jokes

The Proper Way to Pronounce Oklahoma

How do YOU pronounce “Oklahoma?”

Do you think it’s correct?

There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce it.

If you say OK…LAHOMA, You’re WRONG!

The proper way is:

OKLA…HOMA.

There’s a gap between the ‘a’ and the ‘h’.

I can prove it…

There! You learned something today!

I do love these educational emails.

Amusing

The History of English in 10 Minutes

Video Description:

Originally on the British Isles. there were a group of Celtic tribes that lived throughout Britain. They spoke Celtic languages, which live on as Irish, Scottish Gaelic, Welsh, and Manx.

These Celtic-speaking peoples were the original inhabitants of Britain, but then come the English.

The Anglo-Saxon invasion wasn’t so much an “invasion”, as a mass migration over hundreds of years.

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