Joke Of The Day

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Dec 192010
 

When Jimmy was just a wee lad, he went regularly to Sunday School. One day, his teacher decided to test Jimmy to see if he understood the concept of getting to Heaven. She asked him, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?”

“NO!” Jimmy answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”

Again, the answer was, “NO!”

By now, the teacher was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?”

Again, Jimmy answered, “NO!”

The Sunday School teacher was just bursting with pride for him.

Well, she continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”

A very confident young Jimmy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”

Boy Gets Detention for Farting on School Bus

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Nov 052010
 

11-year-old Christian Summers thinks playing video games is fun. According to his school bus driver, he also thinks passing gas is fun. She didn’t find his flatulence so funny.

“She’s like, ‘I’m gonna sign you up. I’m gonna sign you up’. I’m like, ‘It was an accident,” said Summers.

For letting it rip on the ride home, Christian was slapped withn an hour of detention at Thoreau Park Elementary.

“I thought it was pretty dumb,” said Summers.

It seems breaking wind is now breaking the rules. The detention slip reads, quote “Thinks it’s funny to pass gas while on the van. I’ve told him it’s not funny, nor polite to the others in the van. While others scream, he laughs.”

“The normal reaction is to giggle about it and everyone else is going ewww,” said Jodi Hochevar, a family friend. “But, I don’t think it was definitely not worth being disciplined over.”

“We laugh when it happens,” said Christian’s father.

The district and school officials were asked for an interview, but they passed.

A district spokesman did, however, send an e-mailed response:
“Matters involving student discipline are resolved by building administration in accordance with established district guidelines and policies.”

Christian now fears his flatulence. If he’s caught passing gas on the bus again, he could get four or five days of detention.

“Depends on how much more gas he has,” said his father.

Now he’s secretive when letting one slip on his small school bus.

“When I have to pass gas, I have to cover myself because it won’t stink up the bus,” said Christian.

His father says “This shouldn’t have even been a write-up.”

Source…

ID Ten T Error

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Sep 092010
 

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Jimmy, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Jimmy clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?

He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’

Jimmy grinned…. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’

‘No,’ I replied.

‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

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