“Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.”
“Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.”
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. “Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas,” the medic said. “Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on.”
The doctor took the husband aside. “You’re in perfect health,” he said. “Your wife didn’t give me an erection either.”
A three-year-old was helping wrap a present for her father. While they were wrapping, her mother kept reminding her daughter about keeping the present a secret so it would be a surprise. After the present was wrapped, she proudly put it on the table.
When her father came home, he saw the present immediately. He asked the little girl, “What is it?”
“I can’t tell.” she said proudly, with a look towards mom. “It’s a surprise.”
“Can I shake it and guess what’s inside?” asked Dad.