Tag: Joke Of The Day

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.” The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite.”

“What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?”

Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.”

“And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

“I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”

The teacher fainted …

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

He had small ladders hung on the side of his little red wagon and a garden hose coiled up in it.

He was wearing a fireman’s hat and had the wagon tied to his dog so that the dog could pull the wagon.

The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles.

The fireman said, “Son, I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you tied that rope around the dog’s neck you’d go faster.”

“Maybe,” said the little boy, “but then I’d lose my siren!”

One morning while making his bed, he heard the dispatcher say,

“Car 34, there is a 17-foot boa constrictor in someone’s front yard. The resident wants a police officer to come and remove it.”

There was a long pause, then some static.

Slowly, a voice said, “Uh … We can’t get the car started.”