Q: How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?
A: When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.
Tag: Jewish
Joke Of The Day
A Chinese Guy goes to a Jewish busniessman to buy black bras, size 38.
The Jewish guy, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers.
Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.
The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs of them.
He returns a few days later and this time he orders fifty.
The Jewish guy tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 for each one.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the remaining stock of 50, this time for $75.00 each.
The Jewish gentleman is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black bras in size 38 and ask the Chinese guy “Please tell me what do you do with all the black bras?”
The Chinese guy answers “I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you Jewish fellows for $200.00 each!”
Joke Of The Day
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
“You come to the front door of the apartment. I’m in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.
Get in, and with your elbow, push 3.
When you get out, I’m on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? “
“What . . . You coming empty handed?”
Joke Of The Day
A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.
“Owch!” the Chinese man says. “What was that for?”
“That was for Pearl Harbor,” the Jewish man says.
“But I’m Chinese!”
“Chinese, Japanese, what’s the difference?” And the Jewish man sits back down.
Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.
“Ouch!” the Jewish man says. “What was that for?”
“That was for the Titanic,” the Chinese man says.
“But that was an iceberg!”
“Ice berg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?”
Joke Of The Day
Although born to a good Irish-Catholic family, Colm had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal conversion process. He studied Judaism all semester. Finally, he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the conversion.
On the appointed day, he arrived at the Rabbi´s office, ready to begin.
The Rabbi said, “I´m sorry, but before I give you the test, I must discuss my fee, It´s $500.”
“Holy Mother! $5,000!” exclaimed Colm, “That´s a lot of money. How about $50?”
“Congratulations, you pass.” said the Rabbi.
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