Joke Of The Day: Bee At A Bar Mitzvah

Rubber Chicken One day, two bees are buzzing around what’s left of a rose bush.

“How’s your summer been?” asks bee number one.

“Not too good,” says bee two. “Lotta rain, lotta cold. There aren’t enough flowers, therefore not enough pollen.”

The first bee has an idea. “Hey, why don’t you go down to the corner and hang a left? There’s a bar mitzvah going on. Plenty of flowers and fruit.”

Bee two buzzes, “Thanks!” and takes off.

An hour later, the bees bump into each other again.

“How was the bar mitzvah?” asks the first bee.

“Great!” replies the second.

The first bee, however, notices a small circle on his friend’s head, and inquires, “What’s that on your head?”

“A yarmulke,” is the answer. “I didn’t want them to think I was a Wasp.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Walking On Water

Rubber Chicken A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore.The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after he was finished.

A little later, the priest had to make the trip also. He got out of the boat, walked across the water, visited the bathroom and in the same manner, came back to the boat.

Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. He got out of the boat and immediately sank.

The pastor looked at the priest and said, “Do you think we ought to tell him where the rocks are?”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Dying Wish

Rubber Chicken Morris Schwartz is dying and is on his deathbed. He is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:

“Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses.”

“Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza.”

“Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center.”

“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown”

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, “Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hardworking man to have accumulated so much property.”

Sarah replies, “Property shmoperty…the schmuck had a newspaper route.”

 

 

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