Joke Of The Day

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Jul 072009
 

A Muslim dies and finds himself in front of St Peter at the gates of heaven.

“Hey, what’s going on here? Where am I?” he asks St Peter.

“Welcome to the afterlife,” St Peter replies.

“No, no this isn’t right. I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed, right away.”

“Would you like a capuccino?” asks St Peter.

“No! I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed,” replies the Muslim.

“Well, you can talk to Jesus if you want,” says St Peter, and goes off to find him.

“Jesus, I don’t understand what’s going on here,” the Muslim says. “I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed.”

“Would you like a capuccino?”

“No, I want to speak to the prophet! Now.”

“Well, you can talk to God if you like”, says Jesus.

This appears acceptable to the Muslim and off they go. Jesus lets the Muslim into a big room and leaves him. After a few moments there is a puff of smoke and God appears.

“Yes, what seems to be the problem here?” booms God.

The muslim is very worked up by now. “Look, I don’t get what’s happened here, I want to talk to the prophet Mohammed!”

“Would you like a capuccino?”

“Okay, okay,” says the Muslim, “I’ll have a capuccino – now will someone please let me speak to the prophet Mohammed.”

“Two cappuccinos, Mohammed,” says God.

Joke Of The Day

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May 072009
 

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, “Peter, come hither!”

Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, “Peter, come hither!”

So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter’s arm off. Peter is getting a little pissed and wants to go back to his buddies, but again Jesus summons. The roman guard can’t believe that Peter is trying yet AGAIN to climb to the cross, and chops off another arm. Peter is now covered in blood and demented from the blow to the head and wants to call it a day. Jesus hoarsely croaks, “Peter, please, come to me!”

By now, the roman guard is tired of chopping limbs, so he lets Peter be. The faithful disciple struggles to climb the cross (without arms mind you) and after a long while he finally arrives at his Lord’s side. Hurting, suffering, bleeding, Peter looks into his Master’s eyes and asks, “yes, my Lord. What is it?” Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, “Look Peter, I can see your house from here!”

Georgetown University Covers The Name of ‘Jesus’ for Obama Speech at White House’s Request

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Apr 162009
 


This makes total sense, since B. Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) decreed that we are not a Christian nation. Besides this is something you would do not to offend a Muslim. Remember Barry Soetoro converted to Islam and became Barrack Hussein Obama. On a side note… Buckwheat turned Muslim too. Now he is Kareemowheat. (I couldn’t help myself)


Georgetown University says it covered over the monogram “IHS”–symbolizing the name of Jesus Christ—because it was inscribed on a pediment on the stage where President Obama spoke at the university on Tuesday and the White House had asked Georgetown to cover up all signs and symbols there.

As of Wednesday afternoon, the “IHS” monogram that had previously adorned the stage at Georgetown’s Gaston Hall was still covered up–when the pediment where it had appeared was photographed by CNSNews.com.

“In coordinating the logistical arrangements for yesterday’s event, Georgetown honored the White House staff’s request to cover all of the Georgetown University signage and symbols behind Gaston Hall stage,” Julie Green Bataille, associate vice president for communications at Georgetown, told CNSNews.com.

“The White House wanted a simple backdrop of flags and pipe and drape for the speech, consistent with what they’ve done for other policy speeches,” she added. “Frankly, the pipe and drape wasn’t high enough by itself to fully cover the IHS and cross above the GU seal and it seemed most respectful to have them covered so as not to be seen out of context.”

On Wednesday, CNSNews.com inspected the pediment embedded in the wall at the back of the stage in Gaston Hall, where Obama delivered his speech. The letters “IHS” were not to be found. They appeared to be shrouded with a triangle of black-painted plywood.

Pictures of the wooden pediment prior to Obama’s speech show the letters “IHS” in gold. Many photos posted on the Internet of other events at Gaston Hall show the letters clearly.

The White House did not respond to a request from CNSNews.com to comment on the covering up of Jesus’ name at Gaston Hall.

Georgetown, which is run by the Jesuit order, is one of the most prestigious Catholic institutions of higher education in the United States.

Roman Catholics traditionally use “IHS” as an abbreviation for Jesus’ name. According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, “St. Ignatius of Loyola adopted the monogram in his seal as general of the Society of Jesus (1541) and thus became the emblem of his institute.” The Society of Jesus is the formal name for the Jesuits.

Although the monogram was covered over on the wooden pediment at the back of the Gaston Hall stage where it would have been directly above and behind President Obama as he spoke, the letters “IHS” are posted elsewhere around the hall approximately 26 times on shields representing different parts of the United States and the world.

Obama did not mention the name of Jesus during his address. However, he did mention Christ’s Sermon on the Mount.

“There is a parable at the end of the Sermon on the Mount that tells a story of two men…‘the rain descended and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house…it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock,’” Obama said.

“We cannot rebuild this economy on the same pile of sand,” he added. “We must build our house upon a rock.”

Source…


Matthew 10:32 Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my FATHER in heaven.

Matthew 10:33 But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my FATHER in heaven.

Joke Of The Day: A Priest’s Last Dying Wish

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Apr 112009
 

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years He had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital.

He motioned for his nurse to come near..

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.

“I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father” replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images.” Nancy couldn’t help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Nancy’s hand in his right hand and Harry’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face.

Finally Nancy spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” The old priest continued…”He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same.”

My Conversation With Jesus

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Dec 052008
 

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a glass of wine along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day.

I said “Jesus, why do I work so hard?”

And he replied: “Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your family and friends to gather.”

I said: “I thought that money was the root of all evil.”

Jesus gazed in my direction and said: “No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad”.

I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it.

“Jesus,” I said, “what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?”

Jesus replied: “That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to talk with you some more, Senor’, but right now, I must finish cutting your lawn.”