Joke Of The Day: Where To Go For A Drink

Rubber ChickenA Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.

The Irishman said “Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guinness.”

The Italian said “That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table.”

The Russian said “That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof’s we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid.”

“That sounds to good to be true!” the Irishman exclaimed. “Have you actually been there?”

“No,” the Russian replied, “but my wife goes there all the time.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Last Lunch

Rubber ChickenThree steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building.

The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.”

The second worker is Hispanic. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, ” Oh, no, if I have to eat tacos for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.”

The third worker is Polish. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat polish sausage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.”

The next day the Italian looks in his lunch box, sees a bowl of spaghetti. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death.

Then the Hispanic worker looks in his lunch box, sees 2 tacos. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death.

Finally the Polish worker looks in his lunch box, sees a polish sausage sandwich. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death.

At the funeral for the three workers the Italian workers wife is sobbing out of control and cries,” Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed him a different lunch!”

The Hispanics wife is also sobbing out of control and cries,” Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed my husband a different lunch!”

The Polish workers wife isn’t crying at all so the other two wives confront her.

“Don’t look at me,” she exclaims, “He packs his own lunch!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day

A deluxe cruise liner was sinking. The captain had to persuade the passengers of every country very tactfully to jump into the sea.

He told the American, “You’ll be a Hero if you jump into the sea.”
He told the English, “a gentleman would certainly jump into the sea.”
He told the German, “It’s a rule to jump into the sea in such conditions.”
He told the Italian, “Women will admire you if you jump into the sea.”
He told the French, “Do not jump into the sea.”
He told the Japanese, “Look, every passenger is jumping into the sea.”

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