Joke Of The Day: Buried In The Holy Land

Joke Of The Day: Buried In The Holy Land An old couple are vacationing in Israel.

The wife dies quietly in her sleep, the next day the man goes to the grave-digger to make the necessary arrangements.

The grave-digger says “I can bury her here for $500 or have her shipped back home with you for $1000.”

The man briefly considers his options and opts for her to be shipped home.

The grave-digger is stunned “Why pay so much to have her sent back when she could be buried in the Holy Land?”

The man gets very close and whispers “A long time ago a man was buried here and three days later he came back, I can’t take that chance with her.”

 

 

 

Bill Introduced In Congress To Pre-Emptively Attack Iran

Rep. Alcee Hastings (Democrat-FL) recently introduced a bill that would enable to US to invade Iran for the stated purpose of preventing it from obtaining nuclear weapons.

Bill Introduced In Congress To Pre-Emptively Attack Iran

Earlier last month, Congressman Alcee Hastings (Democrat-FL) introduced H.J.Res. 10 or the “Authorization of Use of Force Against Iran Resolution.” Taken at face value, the bill appears to allow the President to authorize military force against Iran. Yet, the text of the bill goes further – it authorizes the president to launch a “pre-emptive” war with the Middle Eastern nation without requiring Congressional approval and without the necessity of Iran having actually committed any action that would warrant a full-scale invasion. Specifically, the text of the bill states that: “The President is authorized to use the Armed Forces of the United States as the President determines necessary and appropriate in order to achieve the goal of preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons.”

H.J.Res. 10 is a joint resolution in the United States Congress.

A joint resolution is often used in the same manner as a bill. If passed by both the House and Senate in identical form and signed by the President, it becomes a law. Joint resolutions are also used to propose amendments to the Constitution.

 

Joke Of The Day: A Mummy In Israel

Rubber Chicken An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least.

After examining it, he called the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000-year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed.

The curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.”

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were right, about both the mummy’s age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?”

“Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that read, ‘10,000 Shekels on Goliath’.”

 

 

 

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