Joke Of The Day

A Muslim dies and finds himself in front of St Peter at the gates of heaven.

“Hey, what’s going on here? Where am I?” he asks St Peter.

“Welcome to the afterlife,” St Peter replies.

“No, no this isn’t right. I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed, right away.”

“Would you like a capuccino?” asks St Peter.

“No! I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed,” replies the Muslim.

“Well, you can talk to Jesus if you want,” says St Peter, and goes off to find him.

“Jesus, I don’t understand what’s going on here,” the Muslim says. “I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed.”

“Would you like a capuccino?”

“No, I want to speak to the prophet! Now.”

“Well, you can talk to God if you like”, says Jesus.

This appears acceptable to the Muslim and off they go. Jesus lets the Muslim into a big room and leaves him. After a few moments there is a puff of smoke and God appears.

“Yes, what seems to be the problem here?” booms God.

The muslim is very worked up by now. “Look, I don’t get what’s happened here, I want to talk to the prophet Mohammed!”

“Would you like a capuccino?”

“Okay, okay,” says the Muslim, “I’ll have a capuccino – now will someone please let me speak to the prophet Mohammed.”

“Two cappuccinos, Mohammed,” says God.

Your Patriotic Duty to Help Weed Out Any Neighborhood Terrorists

Don’t forget to mark your calendars.

As you know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does.

So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic American men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife, and to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America !

Joke Of The Day: Dancing is Forbidden

A “modern” Islamic couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their Mullah for counselling. The man asks, “We realize it’s a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we’d like your permission to dance together.”

“Absolutely not,” says the Mullah. “It’s immoral. Men & women always dance separately.”

“So I can’t even dance with my own wife?”

“No,” said the Mullah, “It is forbidden”

“Well, okay,” says the man, “What about sex? Can we finally have sex?”

“Of course!” replies the Mullah, “Allah ho Akbar! Sex is OK, to have children!”

“What about different positions?” asks the man.

“Allah ho Akbar! No problem,” says the Mullah.

“Woman on top?” the man asks.

“Sure,” says the Mullah. “Allah ho Akbar. Go for it!”

“Doggy style?”

“Sure! Allah ho Akbar!”

“On the kitchen table?”

“Yes, yes! Allah ho Akbar!”

“Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?”

“You may indeed. Allah ho Akbar!”

“Can we do it standing up?”

“No.” says the Mullah.”

“Why not?” asks the man.

“Because that could lead to dancing!”

Load More